oh ho ho you mean it's not better yet?

OK so..
I've been trying to work out how to adequately post some of my pet peeves. If you are a customer at a fast food chain and you do any ONE of these things, you should burn in hell. I'm going to probably say there will be a second edition to this post, because my job gets more painful every day.

PET PEEVE SUPER EDITION! (Insert copious amounts of punctuation that I can't bring myself to actually type for the sake of the relevant grammar deity. Also it helps if you read the title in an epic voice, not dissimilar to something you would hear at a monster truck rally.)

I digress.

PET PEEVE NO #1 - Welcome to kindergarten
The first irritating habit customers express is the inability to place an actual order. Oh hi! do you know what you want? No? Then fuck off. And if you do, just tell me, don't have me playing guessing games.

Me: Hi! Were you ready to place your order?
Customer: I would like [burger].
Me: Was that just the burger today, or would you like that in a meal?
Customer: In a meal... (In that tone of voice that just says: "well.. duh.")
Me: Ok. Would you like that meal large?
Customer: No.

It is at this point that I start getting pissed off. There are three sizes. Small, regular and large. If you don't want large, the helpful gesture at this point would be to TELL ME WHAT FRICKIN SIZE YOU WANT. But no. Of course. I am forced to ask the following question:

Me: So... was that small or regular?
Customer: Regular.
Me: Oook. And was it coke for your drink?
Customer: Um. No.
Me: (silently boiling over with pent up rage) Then what would you like?
Customer: Um. [Drink].
Me: Ok! That's [price]. Drive down.

Ok. So this is an order for one meal, that at this point would have taken roughly 45 seconds to place, with my constant babysitting and encouragement so we can reach the final goal with both our heads firmly on our shoulders. This doesn't occur once a week, or once a day, it occurs with about 9/10 orders that are placed.

HI! Welcome to adulthood. It's time to make a life-altering decision!

If you are this customer, die. However - if you are the customer that does this:

Me: Hi! Place your order!
Customer: I would like a [burger] meal, in a [size], with a [drink].

I love you. I don't even care if I have to ask you what drink you want, or if you forget to tell me the size. At least you are not a total moron. Please come to my store.

Another example of this occurred today. A person asked for a meal. And then a burger. And I distinctly said:

"Was the [burger] just by itself today, not in a meal?"
And the response was a resounding yes.

When I hand the meal out, I get berated because there is no drink for the burger that is supposedly not in a meal. Oh lordy.
WHY WOULD YOU ORDER A MEAL FIRST, AND SAY MEAL, AND THEN WHEN ORDERING THE SECOND MEAL, ONLY SAY BURGER? It seems I cannot assume anything, which leads me to my second pet peeve:

PET PEEVE #2 - Telepathy
I am a mindreader. Or so I can assume. Because customers believe me to be so. And you know how it goes, if everyone thinks its a duck, it's probably a duck.

This phenomenon mainly occurs when a customer is allergic to something.

Me: Hi! What would you like?
Customer: [Burger] meal, large, coke. (or something like that)

The order is placed. The car drives down to where I innocently stand, drink in hand, sheltered as to the horrors of the universe. I take the money. I am joyous. I hand out the bag. My heart soars! A trouble free transaction!

CRASH!
That is the sound of my dreams dying. The customer is holding a burger up at me, opened, looking like a sodden mess of cow fat. "There is tomato on this!" They exclaim furiously.

I am dumbfounded. This tomato is no news to anyone. It is on the burger. It has always been.

"I AM ALLERGIC TO TOMATO"

The boys emerge from burger room when they hear the noise. They peep around the fryer to examine the irate customer -- whose hair is standing vertical at the sight of the offending salad.

Me: (perhaps stupidly) "You didn't mention that you didn't want tomato?"

Customer: "I DON'T CARE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. MAKE IT AGAIN"

Oh ok. I guess I should have known. Silly me.

PET PEEVE #3 - Oh and by the way
You have placed your order. It is large. It is complex. Five meals. Fifty-five dollars. It is glorious. I have it right, I have repeated it to you and together we are exultant!

And then you utter the horrid words:

"Oh, and I forgot..."

My teeth clench. My eyes widen. My hands grip onto my screen like a newborn child trying to avoid blender-death.

"On that first burger, can I remove the [condiment]?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Oh customer. I know you don't understand but you just KILLED MY SPIRIT.
This was bad for the past year and a half but recently, my employer made it WORSE.

The system has been changed as an anti-theft mechanism -- but its a piece of shit. You take an order. It consists of a layered system:

[Burger] v/meal - $6
reg upgrade - $300
change to fanta

Each are a separate button, and it creates a layered method. Originally if I wanted to change it, I would 'correct off' the last two layers:

[burger] v/meal - $6

And add on the condiments:

[burger] v/meal - $6
minus tomato
reg upgrade
change to fanta

You can see that originally, deleting the entire order would be a pain, especially when there are upwards of 4 meals in an order - plus you would have to remember it. JUST so you could put one change in. think it can't get worse? It did.

New system means we can only 'correct off' one layer before needing manager approval for every layer after that. To add that one condiment, we have to swipe a goddamn card 1309151035391509315 times.

Spirit. Dead.








Oh my gosh I can't be bothered anymore, so much more to write. Update later.