Today is a big happy birthday to a very special person in my life.
Reece.
He is my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime. He has been there through everything in my life, and I have tried to do the same for him.
Since school finished, we have had less time for one another. Me - attending uni and work all week, and Reece working on the weekends - making our schedules conflict terribly.
However, he always finds time to talk to me, and even when I haven't seen him in what feels like forever -- I know he is still my very VERY best friend.
Currently he is in Melbourne, taking a chance at happiness. Even though we are kilometres apart, I hope he knows that I am thinking about him on his birthday - and I am going to get him fucking wasted when he comes back.
I love you Reece. Have an amazing birthday.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Oh!
I just remembered something kinda hilarious that happened on Tuesday night. As usual I was on drive thru (surpriiiise) and a car came through.
Me: Hi! Place your order
Customer: Hi there! Can I please have an all-star box?
Me: A... what?
Customer: An all stars box!
It was at this point that I realised she was attempting to order the KFC meal deal... at where I work. Which is not KFC.
Me: Uh.. I'm sorry. But thats KFC.
Customer: Oh! Shit! I must have made a wrong turn! Sorry
Me: Ok..
Now this wouldn't be too weird if there was a KFC nearby. But the closest one is over a k away and what is this - I don't even.
Me: Hi! Place your order
Customer: Hi there! Can I please have an all-star box?
Me: A... what?
Customer: An all stars box!
It was at this point that I realised she was attempting to order the KFC meal deal... at where I work. Which is not KFC.
Me: Uh.. I'm sorry. But thats KFC.
Customer: Oh! Shit! I must have made a wrong turn! Sorry
Me: Ok..
Now this wouldn't be too weird if there was a KFC nearby. But the closest one is over a k away and what is this - I don't even.
I am a research peon.
So this will be a fairly scattered post because I have a few things to say.
Firstly, I have two cockatiels. One of them keeps masturbating in the food dish because it's spring and he's randy and he wants to make babies with everything. While he's doing this, the other one just sits around looking vacant.
Weirdest. Animals. Ever.
Secondly, I have a peace lily and a tigerlily and they're pretties. :D Matt got a lime tree (Alfred) because that's manly.
When we got the lime tree, we had to leave it in the car for a bit while we got groceries. Matt got lime flavoured pump to water it with. And cracked a window so it could breathe. Adorable. <3
Thirdly, I realised that when I'm wearing my work uniform fat men look at me like I could be the most amazing provider that they have ever come across. Like 'think of all the burgers she could bring home to me'. It's kinda creepy.
ALSO!
I finished my work for my other job as a peon for a lovely lady doing her PhD. I worked pretty hard on it so I am superbly happy about it. :D Hopefully she is to and I don't get any disappointed emails.
Anyway -- I'm in a good mood today so no venom. I have lovely sides too - I promise!
Firstly, I have two cockatiels. One of them keeps masturbating in the food dish because it's spring and he's randy and he wants to make babies with everything. While he's doing this, the other one just sits around looking vacant.
Weirdest. Animals. Ever.
Secondly, I have a peace lily and a tigerlily and they're pretties. :D Matt got a lime tree (Alfred) because that's manly.
When we got the lime tree, we had to leave it in the car for a bit while we got groceries. Matt got lime flavoured pump to water it with. And cracked a window so it could breathe. Adorable. <3
Thirdly, I realised that when I'm wearing my work uniform fat men look at me like I could be the most amazing provider that they have ever come across. Like 'think of all the burgers she could bring home to me'. It's kinda creepy.
ALSO!
I finished my work for my other job as a peon for a lovely lady doing her PhD. I worked pretty hard on it so I am superbly happy about it. :D Hopefully she is to and I don't get any disappointed emails.
Anyway -- I'm in a good mood today so no venom. I have lovely sides too - I promise!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Ehehehe.
Ok so I know I was going to write a blog post when I got home but I'm in a good mood. ^_^
Today some people came in and they had a border collie puppy and they got it a cheeseburger and it was SOOOO EXCITED.
How the frig can I hate life when puppies exist?
^______________^
Today some people came in and they had a border collie puppy and they got it a cheeseburger and it was SOOOO EXCITED.
How the frig can I hate life when puppies exist?
^______________^
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Short and anti-sweet.
Ok - I am just about on my way to another shift at my place of work. I know that a lot of what I post here is negative, but you must know: I do enjoy my job a lot of the time. The people I work with are amazing, fun and friendly. The managers are also fun. The hours are good - they let me work weeknights so I don't have to fill my weekends with work. And even a lot of the customers are lovely, but the majority of them either don't give a shit about me, or any people that I work with, or they are just plain rude for no particular reason. And these are the people I talk about here.
Just a short little update because I remembered a few more customer types that really grate on my nerves (but hey, what doesn't?):
PET PEEVE #4 - Silent and deadly
This is the customer that doesn't say anything unless they have to. Over a speaker box, this makes communication beyond difficult. It only just occurred to me that these people could possibly be nodding in response to my questions but... that is just beyond rational consideration so I'll leave that train of thought right there. My conversations with such people usually go like this:
Me: Hi! Place your order when you're ready thanks.
Customer: Burger meal.
Me: Ok. Would you like that meal large?
Customer: *silence*
Me: *wait 15 seconds* ... Was that with a coke today?
Customer: *silence*
Me: Ok so I have a large burger meal with a coke. Is that right sir?
Customer: *drives down to second window without saying anything*
SO FRUSTRATING. THOSE ARE QUESTIONS. ANSWER THEM.
Ugh. Only one pet peeve and now I have to drive to work. It is also raining. Tomorrow (or this evening) I will probably rant about shopping centres because I went to one today and it made me irate.
Toodleo.
Also -- My mother said to me today "you and your brother are the same. People-haters".
Pleasant.
Just a short little update because I remembered a few more customer types that really grate on my nerves (but hey, what doesn't?):
PET PEEVE #4 - Silent and deadly
This is the customer that doesn't say anything unless they have to. Over a speaker box, this makes communication beyond difficult. It only just occurred to me that these people could possibly be nodding in response to my questions but... that is just beyond rational consideration so I'll leave that train of thought right there. My conversations with such people usually go like this:
Me: Hi! Place your order when you're ready thanks.
Customer: Burger meal.
Me: Ok. Would you like that meal large?
Customer: *silence*
Me: *wait 15 seconds* ... Was that with a coke today?
Customer: *silence*
Me: Ok so I have a large burger meal with a coke. Is that right sir?
Customer: *drives down to second window without saying anything*
SO FRUSTRATING. THOSE ARE QUESTIONS. ANSWER THEM.
Ugh. Only one pet peeve and now I have to drive to work. It is also raining. Tomorrow (or this evening) I will probably rant about shopping centres because I went to one today and it made me irate.
Toodleo.
Also -- My mother said to me today "you and your brother are the same. People-haters".
Pleasant.
Monday, August 30, 2010
oh ho ho you mean it's not better yet?
OK so..
I've been trying to work out how to adequately post some of my pet peeves. If you are a customer at a fast food chain and you do any ONE of these things, you should burn in hell. I'm going to probably say there will be a second edition to this post, because my job gets more painful every day.
PET PEEVE SUPER EDITION! (Insert copious amounts of punctuation that I can't bring myself to actually type for the sake of the relevant grammar deity. Also it helps if you read the title in an epic voice, not dissimilar to something you would hear at a monster truck rally.)
I digress.
PET PEEVE NO #1 - Welcome to kindergarten
The first irritating habit customers express is the inability to place an actual order. Oh hi! do you know what you want? No? Then fuck off. And if you do, just tell me, don't have me playing guessing games.
Me: Hi! Were you ready to place your order?
Customer: I would like [burger].
Me: Was that just the burger today, or would you like that in a meal?
Customer: In a meal... (In that tone of voice that just says: "well.. duh.")
Me: Ok. Would you like that meal large?
Customer: No.
It is at this point that I start getting pissed off. There are three sizes. Small, regular and large. If you don't want large, the helpful gesture at this point would be to TELL ME WHAT FRICKIN SIZE YOU WANT. But no. Of course. I am forced to ask the following question:
Me: So... was that small or regular?
Customer: Regular.
Me: Oook. And was it coke for your drink?
Customer: Um. No.
Me: (silently boiling over with pent up rage) Then what would you like?
Customer: Um. [Drink].
Me: Ok! That's [price]. Drive down.
Ok. So this is an order for one meal, that at this point would have taken roughly 45 seconds to place, with my constant babysitting and encouragement so we can reach the final goal with both our heads firmly on our shoulders. This doesn't occur once a week, or once a day, it occurs with about 9/10 orders that are placed.
HI! Welcome to adulthood. It's time to make a life-altering decision!
If you are this customer, die. However - if you are the customer that does this:
Me: Hi! Place your order!
Customer: I would like a [burger] meal, in a [size], with a [drink].
I love you. I don't even care if I have to ask you what drink you want, or if you forget to tell me the size. At least you are not a total moron. Please come to my store.
Another example of this occurred today. A person asked for a meal. And then a burger. And I distinctly said:
"Was the [burger] just by itself today, not in a meal?"
And the response was a resounding yes.
When I hand the meal out, I get berated because there is no drink for the burger that is supposedly not in a meal. Oh lordy.
WHY WOULD YOU ORDER A MEAL FIRST, AND SAY MEAL, AND THEN WHEN ORDERING THE SECOND MEAL, ONLY SAY BURGER? It seems I cannot assume anything, which leads me to my second pet peeve:
PET PEEVE #2 - Telepathy
I am a mindreader. Or so I can assume. Because customers believe me to be so. And you know how it goes, if everyone thinks its a duck, it's probably a duck.
This phenomenon mainly occurs when a customer is allergic to something.
Me: Hi! What would you like?
Customer: [Burger] meal, large, coke. (or something like that)
The order is placed. The car drives down to where I innocently stand, drink in hand, sheltered as to the horrors of the universe. I take the money. I am joyous. I hand out the bag. My heart soars! A trouble free transaction!
CRASH!
That is the sound of my dreams dying. The customer is holding a burger up at me, opened, looking like a sodden mess of cow fat. "There is tomato on this!" They exclaim furiously.
I am dumbfounded. This tomato is no news to anyone. It is on the burger. It has always been.
"I AM ALLERGIC TO TOMATO"
The boys emerge from burger room when they hear the noise. They peep around the fryer to examine the irate customer -- whose hair is standing vertical at the sight of the offending salad.
Me: (perhaps stupidly) "You didn't mention that you didn't want tomato?"
Customer: "I DON'T CARE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. MAKE IT AGAIN"
Oh ok. I guess I should have known. Silly me.
PET PEEVE #3 - Oh and by the way
You have placed your order. It is large. It is complex. Five meals. Fifty-five dollars. It is glorious. I have it right, I have repeated it to you and together we are exultant!
And then you utter the horrid words:
"Oh, and I forgot..."
My teeth clench. My eyes widen. My hands grip onto my screen like a newborn child trying to avoid blender-death.
"On that first burger, can I remove the [condiment]?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Oh customer. I know you don't understand but you just KILLED MY SPIRIT.
This was bad for the past year and a half but recently, my employer made it WORSE.
The system has been changed as an anti-theft mechanism -- but its a piece of shit. You take an order. It consists of a layered system:
[Burger] v/meal - $6
reg upgrade - $300
change to fanta
Each are a separate button, and it creates a layered method. Originally if I wanted to change it, I would 'correct off' the last two layers:
[burger] v/meal - $6
And add on the condiments:
[burger] v/meal - $6
minus tomato
reg upgrade
change to fanta
You can see that originally, deleting the entire order would be a pain, especially when there are upwards of 4 meals in an order - plus you would have to remember it. JUST so you could put one change in. think it can't get worse? It did.
New system means we can only 'correct off' one layer before needing manager approval for every layer after that. To add that one condiment, we have to swipe a goddamn card 1309151035391509315 times.
Spirit. Dead.
Oh my gosh I can't be bothered anymore, so much more to write. Update later.
I've been trying to work out how to adequately post some of my pet peeves. If you are a customer at a fast food chain and you do any ONE of these things, you should burn in hell. I'm going to probably say there will be a second edition to this post, because my job gets more painful every day.
PET PEEVE SUPER EDITION! (Insert copious amounts of punctuation that I can't bring myself to actually type for the sake of the relevant grammar deity. Also it helps if you read the title in an epic voice, not dissimilar to something you would hear at a monster truck rally.)
I digress.
PET PEEVE NO #1 - Welcome to kindergarten
The first irritating habit customers express is the inability to place an actual order. Oh hi! do you know what you want? No? Then fuck off. And if you do, just tell me, don't have me playing guessing games.
Me: Hi! Were you ready to place your order?
Customer: I would like [burger].
Me: Was that just the burger today, or would you like that in a meal?
Customer: In a meal... (In that tone of voice that just says: "well.. duh.")
Me: Ok. Would you like that meal large?
Customer: No.
It is at this point that I start getting pissed off. There are three sizes. Small, regular and large. If you don't want large, the helpful gesture at this point would be to TELL ME WHAT FRICKIN SIZE YOU WANT. But no. Of course. I am forced to ask the following question:
Me: So... was that small or regular?
Customer: Regular.
Me: Oook. And was it coke for your drink?
Customer: Um. No.
Me: (silently boiling over with pent up rage) Then what would you like?
Customer: Um. [Drink].
Me: Ok! That's [price]. Drive down.
Ok. So this is an order for one meal, that at this point would have taken roughly 45 seconds to place, with my constant babysitting and encouragement so we can reach the final goal with both our heads firmly on our shoulders. This doesn't occur once a week, or once a day, it occurs with about 9/10 orders that are placed.
HI! Welcome to adulthood. It's time to make a life-altering decision!
If you are this customer, die. However - if you are the customer that does this:
Me: Hi! Place your order!
Customer: I would like a [burger] meal, in a [size], with a [drink].
I love you. I don't even care if I have to ask you what drink you want, or if you forget to tell me the size. At least you are not a total moron. Please come to my store.
Another example of this occurred today. A person asked for a meal. And then a burger. And I distinctly said:
"Was the [burger] just by itself today, not in a meal?"
And the response was a resounding yes.
When I hand the meal out, I get berated because there is no drink for the burger that is supposedly not in a meal. Oh lordy.
WHY WOULD YOU ORDER A MEAL FIRST, AND SAY MEAL, AND THEN WHEN ORDERING THE SECOND MEAL, ONLY SAY BURGER? It seems I cannot assume anything, which leads me to my second pet peeve:
PET PEEVE #2 - Telepathy
I am a mindreader. Or so I can assume. Because customers believe me to be so. And you know how it goes, if everyone thinks its a duck, it's probably a duck.
This phenomenon mainly occurs when a customer is allergic to something.
Me: Hi! What would you like?
Customer: [Burger] meal, large, coke. (or something like that)
The order is placed. The car drives down to where I innocently stand, drink in hand, sheltered as to the horrors of the universe. I take the money. I am joyous. I hand out the bag. My heart soars! A trouble free transaction!
CRASH!
That is the sound of my dreams dying. The customer is holding a burger up at me, opened, looking like a sodden mess of cow fat. "There is tomato on this!" They exclaim furiously.
I am dumbfounded. This tomato is no news to anyone. It is on the burger. It has always been.
"I AM ALLERGIC TO TOMATO"
The boys emerge from burger room when they hear the noise. They peep around the fryer to examine the irate customer -- whose hair is standing vertical at the sight of the offending salad.
Me: (perhaps stupidly) "You didn't mention that you didn't want tomato?"
Customer: "I DON'T CARE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. MAKE IT AGAIN"
Oh ok. I guess I should have known. Silly me.
PET PEEVE #3 - Oh and by the way
You have placed your order. It is large. It is complex. Five meals. Fifty-five dollars. It is glorious. I have it right, I have repeated it to you and together we are exultant!
And then you utter the horrid words:
"Oh, and I forgot..."
My teeth clench. My eyes widen. My hands grip onto my screen like a newborn child trying to avoid blender-death.
"On that first burger, can I remove the [condiment]?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Oh customer. I know you don't understand but you just KILLED MY SPIRIT.
This was bad for the past year and a half but recently, my employer made it WORSE.
The system has been changed as an anti-theft mechanism -- but its a piece of shit. You take an order. It consists of a layered system:
[Burger] v/meal - $6
reg upgrade - $300
change to fanta
Each are a separate button, and it creates a layered method. Originally if I wanted to change it, I would 'correct off' the last two layers:
[burger] v/meal - $6
And add on the condiments:
[burger] v/meal - $6
minus tomato
reg upgrade
change to fanta
You can see that originally, deleting the entire order would be a pain, especially when there are upwards of 4 meals in an order - plus you would have to remember it. JUST so you could put one change in. think it can't get worse? It did.
New system means we can only 'correct off' one layer before needing manager approval for every layer after that. To add that one condiment, we have to swipe a goddamn card 1309151035391509315 times.
Spirit. Dead.
Oh my gosh I can't be bothered anymore, so much more to write. Update later.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
My job sucks.
Because I only recently decided to put in text the constant BULLSHIT I go through everyday, my stories will be somewhat backdated until I catch up with the present day. I will try to remember them word for word as they happened, but if I can't, I promise that I will not embellish them in a way that makes these people sound worse than they are -- they do it quite adequately for themselves every day, I'm sure.
The most recent (and crazy) of stories happened a few weeks ago. On busy days, we open a first window at which someone sits at and takes orders through drive-thru and takes the money from the cars before sending them down. On such a day, I am flat-out at this window, in one of our busiest periods. However - I always try to maintain a happy and helpful tone, and am often told by NICE customers that I am good at my job.
On this fateful day, the beep sounds that lets me know another hungry person craving some disgusting fatty comfort food has steered their car into my life. I greet everyone the same way:
"Hi, welcome to [Fastfoodland], place your order when you're ready, thanks."
Ordinarily, I will get a hello, how are you, or good evening from a customer before they proposition me to provide them with dinner.
(On a related note - there are a number of customers that say "Hello, how are you?" and wait for you to respond before they will place their order. I understand their good intentions, but it completely throws me - I'm not used to people actually recognising me as existing beyond that of a disembodied voice in a speaker box)
Anyway, this lady, after my pleasant greeting, simply says:
"I want 10 nuggets, regular chips and a small coke"
Now, our nuggets come in packs of 9. One nugget wouldn't seem like a big deal, but if we didn't tell the customers of the difference in the number of nuggets we sell, we would definitely get customers storming up to us, spittle exploding from their mouths as they demand the nugget they believe they are missing. So - to be sure, we ALWAYS tell the customer that our nuggets come in 9 packs:
"Sorry, we actually sell our nuggets in packs of 9. Is that ok?"
The response takes me off guard:
"9 NUGGETS, 10 NUGGETS, WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?"
Well, ma'am, the difference is one nugget. BUT as a well-trained hospitality peon, I exchange exasperated looks with my fellow employees who can hear this nonsense, and continue forward:
"Ok. So I'll put your order into a meal for you. You will get 9 nuggets, a regular fries, and a REGULAR coke for cheaper than you would for it separately. Thats [price], drive down to the first window thanks."
"NO. YOU LISTEN TO ME. OK? LISTEN. I WANT NINE NUGGETS. A REGULAR FRIES. AND A SMALL COKE. OK. I DONT WANT YOUR MEAL. JUST GIVE ME WHAT I ASKED FOR."
I was completely dumbfounded, and pretty much everyone in the store was too.
"O-ok.. just.. drive down."
She drives down, throws her money in my face, and continues driving.
Her meal worked out about $2 more expensive separately, for the same thing.
I don't understand people at all.
I hate everyone.
The most recent (and crazy) of stories happened a few weeks ago. On busy days, we open a first window at which someone sits at and takes orders through drive-thru and takes the money from the cars before sending them down. On such a day, I am flat-out at this window, in one of our busiest periods. However - I always try to maintain a happy and helpful tone, and am often told by NICE customers that I am good at my job.
On this fateful day, the beep sounds that lets me know another hungry person craving some disgusting fatty comfort food has steered their car into my life. I greet everyone the same way:
"Hi, welcome to [Fastfoodland], place your order when you're ready, thanks."
Ordinarily, I will get a hello, how are you, or good evening from a customer before they proposition me to provide them with dinner.
(On a related note - there are a number of customers that say "Hello, how are you?" and wait for you to respond before they will place their order. I understand their good intentions, but it completely throws me - I'm not used to people actually recognising me as existing beyond that of a disembodied voice in a speaker box)
Anyway, this lady, after my pleasant greeting, simply says:
"I want 10 nuggets, regular chips and a small coke"
Now, our nuggets come in packs of 9. One nugget wouldn't seem like a big deal, but if we didn't tell the customers of the difference in the number of nuggets we sell, we would definitely get customers storming up to us, spittle exploding from their mouths as they demand the nugget they believe they are missing. So - to be sure, we ALWAYS tell the customer that our nuggets come in 9 packs:
"Sorry, we actually sell our nuggets in packs of 9. Is that ok?"
The response takes me off guard:
"9 NUGGETS, 10 NUGGETS, WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?"
Well, ma'am, the difference is one nugget. BUT as a well-trained hospitality peon, I exchange exasperated looks with my fellow employees who can hear this nonsense, and continue forward:
"Ok. So I'll put your order into a meal for you. You will get 9 nuggets, a regular fries, and a REGULAR coke for cheaper than you would for it separately. Thats [price], drive down to the first window thanks."
"NO. YOU LISTEN TO ME. OK? LISTEN. I WANT NINE NUGGETS. A REGULAR FRIES. AND A SMALL COKE. OK. I DONT WANT YOUR MEAL. JUST GIVE ME WHAT I ASKED FOR."
I was completely dumbfounded, and pretty much everyone in the store was too.
"O-ok.. just.. drive down."
She drives down, throws her money in my face, and continues driving.
Her meal worked out about $2 more expensive separately, for the same thing.
I don't understand people at all.
I hate everyone.
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