Bitches love my digits.

It's 8:39am, and I'm lying in bed reading a book.

I roll over, and I notice a missed call highlighting the screen of my phone, accompanied by a number that I do not have in my phone book, nor does it seem familiar to me.

Because of my constant paranoia, I do not call the number back in case it's a rapist who can somehow crawl through my telephone line to find me. This is not a joke, it is the honest to God reason why I do not call unknown numbers back.

But I digress.

Less than a minute later, the same number rings my phone. Hesitantly I pick it up. The caller shall be known as "Bitch-face", because she happens to be one.

The conversation went thus:

Me: Hello?
Bitch-face: Who is this.
Me: Er... You called me.
BF: WHO IS THIS.

Well at this point my fear of rapists grew exponentially and was only overcome by my curiosity as to what this abrasive, satanic woman could possibly want.

Me: Well, my name is Paige.
BF: Why did you call me.
Me: What?
BF: I have two missed calls from you at 5:30 this morning. WHO ARE YOU.
Me: I just told you who I am.
BF: WHO ARE YOU.
Me: Look, I wasn't even awake at 5.30 this morning, let alone dialling anyone, and you aren't in my dialled numbers.
BF: IS THIS NATASHA?
Me: Holy shit no, I just told you my name is Paige.
BF: Well this number called me, so obviously you know me.
Me: I don't know who you are.
BF: Are you sure you're not Natasha?
Me: I am positive I am not Natasha.

Interlude: I wonder how many times she's asked "are you sure you're not Natasha?" and someone has gone "Oh wait yeah,  I remember who I am now. I AM Natasha. Holy crap thanks!"

BF: Well, I don't know you, and you don't know me. So I guess I'll let you off the hook this time.
Me: Gee, thanks.

God I hate everyone.

EDIT (10:23am):

Bitch-face called me back again, this time on a Blocked number presumably so I wouldn't ignore her call.

Me: Hello?
Her: Look, where do you live. Do you know anyone called Natasha?
Me: No.
Her: Look, someone has obviously used your phone to call me this morning.
Me: I live with just my boyfriend. That is it. No one has used my phone. Your number is not in past calls. I have not called you.
Her: Yeah, you're definitely not Natasha, you don't sound anything like her.

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